Couples Recipe Worksheet

The work of John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman along with the Gottman Institute has been extremely helpful in cluing us into what makes relationships work.  Their decades of research give us insight and tools to help deepen our connection with others. 

10 Questions Happy Couples Are Constantly Asking One Another is one example of many exercises, offered through the Gottman Institute, aimed to increase mutuality and intimacy amongst couples.  As an art therapist and marriage and family therapist, I am interested in developing tools that promote creativity, as a means to increasing connection.

One question posed in the Gottman Institute post that caught my eye is the following:  List your three biggest needs, and how can I fulfill them? This is an invaluable question because when we understand our partner’s respective needs, we are better able to help meet them.  We can notice opportunities conducive to bringing fulfillment and help facilitate those experiences.  In that spirit, I offer a worksheet, which playfully helps a couple create “recipes” for one another. Just as we do in cooking, we can craft, through a series of steps, experiences that help fulfill our biggest needs.  Download and try it!